


Homosexual Homie

by emochick27



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 16:12:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13791330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emochick27/pseuds/emochick27
Summary: Kurt and Ram admit their gay forbidden love in a missaproving world.





	Homosexual Homie

Kurt checked his phone again and sighed. His football team sucked hard this season and Heather Chandler still had zero interest in him. He'd gone up to her the other day and been really smooth-- he raised his eyebrows seductively and everything-- and she had literally laughed in his face and then strutted away with her perfect hot walk. The whole thing had really put a dent in his street cred. Plus Ram saw the whole thing, which was super embarrassing. It was fine though because he was still totally the hottest guy in school. Well, except for Ram maybe.... Suddenly Kurt's phone started blasting Ram's ringtone.  
"Sup dude," Kurt said. There was no answer. "Ram?" He was about to hang up, thinking it was probably just an accident, when he heard sniffling. "Hey Kurt," Ram said shakily.  
"Woah Ram are you crying?"  
"I'm... not. It's allergies."  
"Oh yeah. Right." Kurt answered skeptically. There was an awkward silence occasionally punctured by sniffles.  
"So... what's up?" Ram asked finally.  
"You called me, dude," Kurt reminded him. He was starting to get worried.  
"Right. So, my dad's a total douche."  
"Yeah." Kurt had known about Ram's douchey dad since they were both little kids. He'd even seen Ram's dad explode with anger at family dinners, though usually Ram's dad seemed like a pretty normal guy. It was only when Ram did something wrong that his true douchiness came out. "So what did he do this time?" Kurt asked. He was already starting to get mad just thinking about Mr. Sweeney hurting his best friend.  
"Well he made me tell him every detail of the last game and I had to tell him I didn't score any points."  
"Uh-huh," Kurt said. He remembered that game very clearly. Ram had been off his game all night, and at the end he had totally freaked out. He'd even added a new crack to his already fucked up phone.  
"He just...flipped out. I mean it's like he doesn't get that I have emotions,  you know? Like, I can have bad days just like anyone else. Off days. And he thinks football is my passion, but I'm not even sure if I want to play anymore."  
"Seriously, dude?" Kurt was shocked. He really hoped Ram didn't quit football. It would be totally bland without him. Especially the locker room. Ram sighed.  
"I don't know man. Anyway, he got super mad and started calling me stuff."  
"Like what?"  
"Uh...pussy and fag and homo and stuff."  
Kurt's fist clenched. "Jesus."  
"Yeah. So can I stay at your house tonight?"  
"Sure man of course. My parents aren't home." There was a pause, then Kurt and Ram said "No homo" at the same time.  
"Jinx! You owe me a beer!" Ram yelled.  
"Whatever dude."  
"Listen Kurt..." Ram said, suddenly serious. "Thanks. For everything."  
"No problem. So, uh, your dad going off on you made your allergies flare up huh?"  
"Shut up." Kurt grinned as Ram hung up the phone.  
                          *******  
Ten minutes later, Ram was at Kurt's door. His hair was messed up and his eyes were swollen. He was huddled in his red and white Westerberg jacket and looking more unsure and vulnerable than Kurt had seen him in years. Kurt let him in and tossed him a cold one from the fridge. Ram cracked it open as he flopped on the couch.  
"What the hell dude, you're taking up the whole fucking couch," Kurt protested, trying to move Ram's legs.   
"Leave me alone. I'm depressed," Ram groaned dramatically, putting his legs across Kurt's lap. It felt kind of weird to be in that position, but not exactly in a bad way. Kurt flicked on the TV to a show that he knew for a fact had a lot of hot girls on it.  
"Woah, she's hot. Look at those boobs. And that ass. And, um..." Kurt paused. He knew there were more hot girls he could point out, but having Ram's legs across his lap was starting to get kind of distracting. He kept trying though, hoping Ram would join in at some point. But Ram just kept drinking his beer. All signs of crying were completely erased from his face. He'd gone from looking vulnerable to looking even more closed off and angry than usual. After a few more minutes of Kurt trying to fill the silence, Ram stood up abruptly.  
"Will you please shut the fuck up?" He yelled.  
"You ok, dude?" Kurt asked worriedly. Ram threw his empty beer can to the ground and crushed it under his foot. His eyes were flaring with anger now, so much so that Kurt pushed himself further into the couch.  
"I just. Fucking. HATE MY FUCKING DAD!" Ram yelled, grabbing one of Kurt's old soccer trophies and aiming it at the TV. Kurt lunged off the couch and grabbed Ram's arm to hold him back. Ram turned towards him and shoved him hard. Kurt stumbled backwards and sat stunned on the ground, unsure what was happening. All he knew was that after everything Kurt had done for him, Ram was picking a fight. Well he wasn't going to lie on the ground like a pussy.  
"What the fuck, dude? What's your problem?" Kurt shouted, pushing himself up from the ground. Ram brought his fist up but Kurt punched him in the face before he could do anything. Ram touched his mouth and stared at the blood on his fingers.  
"Asshole," he said quietly. Kurt stood in front of him, breathing hard and clenching and unclenching his fists. Ram punched him hard in the stomach and Kurt doubled over, gasping for breath. Ram stood over him, and Kurt could just feel him smirking. When he got his breath back, Kurt looked up at Ram. He was actually shaking with anger.  
"Get out of my house," he said, his voice as full of hatred as he could make it.  
"Fine," Ram spat. "Whatever." He just stood there with his hand over his mouth. Kurt raised his eyebrows. "I'm leaving," Ram said.  
"It doesn't look like it," Kurt pointed out. Ram stormed away from him and flipped Kurt off over his shoulder. He slammed the door so hard that Kurt was surprised it didn't break into pieces. When Ram was gone, Kurt cleaned up and then just stood in his living room and stared at the TV. The show with all the hot girls was still on, but Kurt barely even noticed them. Now he was just looking at their perfectly made up faces and their eyes. Their eyes all looked sad somehow. He switched the TV off and sat on the couch with his head in his hands. Why does Ram have to be such a dick? he thought. He fumed at Ram for a while, but his anger gradually moved away from his friend and more towards life in general. Why did everything have to suck so much? Ram's dad and Kurt's whole dysfunctional family. All the idiot bullies in high school. Actually Kurt was one of the idiot bullies in high school. He swore that he would never be an ass to anyone for no reason ever again, but he'd made that promise to himself probably a hundred times. It was a lot harder to follow through on than it was to promise. Sometimes it seemed like everyone he knew was fucked up. Like there were no genuinely good people in his life. And that was including himself. Plus what was up with all the hate everywhere? Why "no homo"? Why not "yes homo"? And also what the fuck was he even talking about? He had picked on gays his whole life. It was unnatural and weird and gay-- well duh it was gay-- and he was against it. But the way he felt about Ram was more than he thought was normal for two bros. They'd been friends for most of his life, but recently things had changed. We do hang out a lot and joke around together and basically do everything together, he thought. But not because we're gay. Right?

Kurt groaned and grabbed the soccer trophy Ram had used to threaten his TV. He turned it over in his hands for a few seconds, then threw it at his kitchen counter as hard as he could. It hit the corner and broke easily. Whatever, Kurt thought. He was pretty sure everyone in the league had gotten one of those anyway. Suddenly his big empty house felt small and tight. He put on his shoes and went out into the cold night air. Only went he felt the tears on his face did Kurt realize he'd been crying. God, who was he anymore. Crying about feelings like a girl? He hadn't even cried when he broke his leg during a football game, and that had really sucked. But Ram had been there next to him the whole time and that helped...fuck. Anywho, he was just glad Ram hadn't seen him crying over nothing, that would probably ruin his chances...double fuck. He started down the sidewalk, chanting "I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not gay" over and over again-- as if that would change the facts. Kurt realized there was a car parked in front of his house. Ram's car. He went over to it and knocked on the window. Ram emerged from a pile of blankets and stared up at him.  
"What are you doing out here?" Kurt asked as Ram rolled down the window.  
"Trying to sleep," Ram answered.  
"In your car? Like a hobo?"  
"Rude," Ram muttered.  
"Dude, it's freezing out here. Come inside."  
"Really? Are you sure?" Ram asked hopefully.  
"Yeah," Kurt assured him. Ram hesitated, then pushed all his blankets off and got out of the car. Together, they walked back to Kurt's door. As they went in, Kurt said, "I didn't think I was banishing you to your car, dude. I thought you would just go home." Ram grabbed Kurt's arm and turned him around.  
"I... couldn't." He stared into Kurt's eyes, his own full of fear and shame.  
"Um. Yeah. That's ok," Kurt managed. He reached around Ram to shut the door behind them. They stood there for a second silently. Finally, Kurt couldn't stand it anymore and wrapped Ram in his arms. Ram relaxed and almost immediately started sobbing. Kurt fought back his own tears as he stood there, hugging Ram as tightly as he could. When he had calmed down, Kurt led Ram over to the couch and put a blanket around him. He went to the fridge and was careful to grab Ram something non-alcoholic this time. He went back and sat down next to Ram, who was staring at the floor. Kurt fidgeted next to him and tried to think of the right thing to say in their situation. He couldn't think of anything, so he just turned on the TV and flipped to some nature show. As he watched the bear cubs stumble around and the birds do their ridiculous dances for the ladies, he started to feel a little better about the world.  
"So," Ram said suddenly. "You're not gay, huh?" Kurt felt his face get hot. "Well, I. What?" He sputtered. Ram laughed.  
"I heard you literally chanting it, dude."  
"What? How could you hear me?" Kurt was positive Ram's windows had all been closed.  
"You were doing it when we walked back to your house. Pretty loudly, too."  
"Oh. I didn't even notice."  
"I figured," Ram said. They sat in silence. Kurt was suddenly paranoid that he would be found out. What if Ram saw his pupils dilating or some shit? He was pretty sure that was a science thing that happened. But really, who was he kidding? Ram probably didn't even know about that. Science wasn't his strong suit. Actually, school in general wasn't really his thing.  
"Well, I am. Gay," Ram said hesitantly. Well that was unexpected, Kurt thought.  
"Oh, really? That's... Good for you."  
"Thanks man. You're the first person I told."  
"Cool," Kurt said nonchalantly.  
"I'm not accusing you of anything, dude, but I feel like walking around chanting 'I'm not gay' isn't something a confidently straight person would do. Just saying," Ram pointed out.  
"Yeah. I think I might be gay too. Actually, I know I am." It felt good to say that out loud, especially to Ram.  
"Cool," Ram said, smiling at him. Kurt thought about how amazing Ram looked, even with his bloodshot eyes and messed up hair, and suddenly the few feet of distance between them felt like way too much. Kurt cleared his throat nervously, then tentatively reached for Ram's hand and took it his own-- then yanked it back.  
"Dude!" Kurt exclaimed. "Your hands are ice-cold!" Ram glared at him. "Way to ruin the moment, Kurt," he said, throwing his hands in the air.  
"Sorry, sorry," Kurt said nervously. "I don't know how to do this." Ram raised an eyebrow.  
"What, hold hands?" He asked.  
"No! Hold hands with a dude. A homosexual homie." Kurt cringed and Ram laughed.  
"I can't believe my boyfriend is such a dork," Ram said like it was nothing. Kurt smiled and felt himself blush again.  
"I hate to break it to you, Kurt, but you aren't that great at holding hands with girls either," Ram said.  
"What? I'm a total hunk, dude," Kurt protested.  
"I don't know man. Remember that thing with Chandler the other day? I mean, waggling your eyebrows? That was pretty pathetic," Ram laughed. Kurt turned to face him.  
"Ok, that's not fair! I was really smooth and sedecutive, it was just the wrong person. Chandler is..."  
"A mythic bitch?" Ram offered.  
"Yeah." Kurt took Ram's hand again and this time held onto it.  
"I'm sorry," Ram said, the laughter gone from his voice.  
"I know," Kurt assured him. Ram snuggled up to him and leaned his head against Kurt's shoulder. Kurt grinned and put his arm around Ram so that they were really and truly cuddling. They sat like that and watched TV for a while, until Ram put his hand on Kurt's thigh. Kurt resisted the urge to actually squeal with excitement. What is this? he thought. Like half of first base? He looked down at Ram as Ram looked up at him, and they both smiled.  
"No homo?" Ram asked jokingly as he leaned in.  
"I love you," Kurt answered. And then they kissed.


End file.
